The walk to the Lenox Avenue address wasn’t anything unusual for me. I walked Downtown River City five days a week and Lenox was only a few blocks away from the Davis Brothers offices. But as I watched the men, women and children, many in full family units, taking in their final Christmas shopping, I grew more nervous. I wanted that life, but at the same time, I loved my freedom. I loved just being me. And now I was walking into some club that might change all of that.
I didn’t know if I could handle that change.
I stopped in my tracks. A mother with two children almost ran into me from behind. She tsked at me as she ushered the children around me. I wanted to glare angrily at her, but I kept my face passive. It was so ingrained in me not to cause trouble, that I doubted I really could ever do that.
No, fear isn’t the answer. Fear has left me alone this long. It’s time I stand up for myself and take what I want.
With a nod, I powered down the last two blocks to the address.
488 Lenox Avenue wasn’t a building all that different than the office complex that held Davis Brothers. A six story structure, each floor held a business. Three accountants, a law office and an insurance agency filled the other floors. Suite B had nothing next to it. From all appearances, it was empty. I didn’t hesitate. I opened the front door and walked towards the elevator.
No one else was around. The ground floor office was dark, closed for the holidays. I shrugged it off, opened the elevator gate and pressed the button for the second floor.
My worries and fears whirled around in my brain like a vortex of indecision. I didn’t know what I was walking into and as the elevator ascended, I realized for the first time that I might be in danger. I hadn’t considered that I might run into violence, just strange people that made me uncomfortable.
“Stay calm,” I said to myself out loud. “You’re going to be just fine. Everything is going to be alright.”
The elevator slowed and came to a stop. With a deep breath, I reached out and opened the gate and walked out into whatever holiday I would have.
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